The unborn philosopher

Disappointment is a bad feeling. Sometimes, it arises out of failure. But sometimes the causes may be different. Apathy may be one of them. I mean apathy directed at oneself. But apathy is a very strong word. I think indifference would fit in too. Indifference on the other hand is merely a subset of apathy in a toned down way. But that also seems enough, just enough for disappointment to creep in slowly. It kills, chokes, suffocates without the physical symptoms. One might just smile! We know where it comes from. It comes from the art of practicing.

The soul and body are a system. This system gets in a state of distorted realism. In fact, the system gets distorted due to the breakaway from the fantasy world. The dreams have to let go of the mind to show it what actualism is. Every one feels that sense of realism at some point in life. And it gets hard to accept. Because nothing is perfect. We can't plan things perfectly always. Or may be we can plan things perfectly. They might refuse to turn out in the exact perfect fashion. That is disappointment. 

Probably, the imperfections of life are hard to accept. May be that is human nature. And mind you its complicated. Not the human nature, these imperfections! Human nature on the other hand is fairly straight and simple. It is driven by selfishness barring no exceptions. People behave in the way which suits them the most. Some people behave in the way which suits others the most. And some people are smart enough to take the middle path or some other path or some other than the other path. But they do what they think suits them the best. That makes them live their lives of romantic realism. That sounds very oxymoronic. But we choose to make that choice. And the day we fail to get a response which we have been used to, we simply get killed.

That is the day the sleeping philosopher inside us suddenly awakes and asks us to self introspect. And we do that because that is what suits us the best at that point in time. Selfish again! And selfish is not such a bad word. It is just doing good to one self. So what if it may bring more disappointment(s) to people around us. Realism is a bitter pill to swallow. Dreams are easy. Dreams are static. Dreams are snapshots that we choose to preserve and admire again and again. Realism is true. It can get ugly. It does get ugly. Its dynamic and that is what gives hope.The hope that things would change. Indifference would go, the dream would be reframed in the way we always wanted it to be. Amen.

When I was growing up!!

When I was growing up to be something; I was actually growing up like a fool, though I always believed I was growing up as Mr. Cool. I didn't know the dream to own a body as well chiseled as Hrithik Roshan was a distant dream. Then, years later I saw 'Student of the Year'. Pheww! Mr. Johar had a similar deprived adolescence I am sure. Our actions in general are the reflections of our not doing some things in the past rather than the projections of our dreams. A failed father would slap his share of failures as an 'add on' on the son who is yet to even attain puberty. Stupid, hard and inexplicable, but so is our state.

What I really loved about being a 15-18 year old was the way I could day dream. Nowadays, sleep deprivation and dream deprivation are my staple diet. A good emotional SRK starrer would make me believe in love, and an Arnold movie (dubbed in hindi of course!) would make him my favourite actor (For the slam books we filled with so much enthusiasm). Knowing a hollywood actor and actually being a fan really felt nice. It gave a feeling of having more mature tastes than the remainder of the crowd. Some folks, I remember had taken a liking to listening to some spanish gay singer too! I can barely remember his name! That's how foolish all of us were!

Going for IIT tutions was another fad. Discussing the teacher post the sessions was another! Debating on whose tutor was the better one was the best! Apparently, the tutor who solved maximum number of Irodov, Krotov and all the stupid russian authors' questions was declared to be the ultimate winner. And their students were the bonds! Two hours of tuition followed by another two in debates and chasing yet to be fully grown girls was how our lives used to be. And the nights would be filled with dreams of multitude of variety. Sometimes of the same girls I mentioned, sometimes of 'the girl' we grew up thinking of, sometimes of the IIT hostels awaiting our arrival; it was a great mix.

Eating in a restaurant would be a luxury, road side egg rolls and samosa chats were the real appetite extinguishers. Exchanging smiles with girls we saw sitting in the first few rows, abusing boys who were friendly with those girls and declaring their deeds to be unbecoming of a man, used to be the recipe for time pass. Though we all knew, in the heart of our hearts, that we so secretly wanted to be those 'unbecoming of a man' boys.

How after watching those chocolate like romantic movies, we would try to grow the stubble, just like the hero of the movie. How we would steal one liners from SRK and use them pretending we never knew it has been used. And getting caught was a not so likely. Internet and google hadn't become that strong back then. And talking of internet, I can't forget to mention, the long hours spent in cyber cafes. It was the in thing. Being friends with the young, nothing to do owner was the in thing. And spending hours on Yahoo Messenger trying to find a girl friend was the thing. Don't we all remember those 20's chat rooms, those pings (hi, 21/m/USA, wanna chat?)! I am sure we do!

The newly acquired attitude of the youth, the new arrogance, the abuses, the look of disgust for the school teachers who could just teach for boards, and respect for the Irodov solving private tutors; all of it together summed up those years for most of us. The feeling of having grown up and the disappointment after this thought was refuted by our own parents; the illusion of falling in love; the dream of winning the world; combined together were a perfect canvas for the mind to wander along, as it wanted.

Years later, when I see those movies, still feel the love although now it's not an illusion, still wonder if I would ever get a well chiseled body (without hair), still think about the lovely girl I grew up thinking of but things have turned slightly different. Of all the things I wanted to do, I failed to do the most of them. Didn't go to IIT, except as a tourist destination or visiting a friend's dorm. I couldn't build a nice body. I can grow the stubble now but the job doesn't let me do it. This is life. Always a bunch of things you planned but couldn't execute. But always a few things you wanted to do and did. All which couldn't be is worth the few things which actualized. By the way, I did marry the girl I grew up thinking of! That's life too!

Life post MBA: No offense

As the date to leave home, again, draws in; I feel jittery. I haven't enjoyed my meals for the last couple of days. Random thoughts keep me engulfed. I shall have to be away from my family again and this life is short. I don't know, how would I make it beautiful enough to compensate for that. There will be friends, and friends of friends and old friends and new friends. Actually, there will be a lot of new which I hate! And there will be a lot less of old which I love. INERTIA! Newton was brilliant!

I never liked "*hore-licks". I can't figure how can one work for Mr. Ernst and stay Young? The only lever I see is the one with its fulcrum up our asses and it doesn't matter how much you may think your career (some perceive it as life) is Proctor-ed, life would still be a gamble. Will the lovely paints be colourful? Probably, we will make money in our accent to future but are we not skeptical if we would have any adventure. I have "no idea" of how money can flow through 'air' but for sure its a TATA to the lives we have lived so far. 

To my last 2 days of liberty till I get it again, cheers!

Just a piece done months ago!!

To any writer, it becomes essential to be flooded with emotions with a perspective. Sometimes one just has the emotions and not the perspective; on some other times, just the perspective and not the emotion. Right now I have one of the above mentioned things and not the other. Still I go on to write. I am a little perturbed and wanted a balm. Didn’t get it, so here am I. I have seen in movies people going to temples and bursting their emotions in front of the deities. Initially in my first instinct I used the word idols instead of deities. Then as I started to type the next line I just felt somehow the word idol was not bringing out the correct emotion that I was trying to bring on the surface. This word deity came to mind after a second or so. I remember memorizing this word in the explanations given for some word’s meaning in the word list of Baron’s GRE book. I did not know such a word existed. So I looked up and got the meaning. I scribbled the meaning in Hindi right under the word and that’s how I remembered it, quite pictographically from my memory slides. I am not really good at words but whatever limited I know, I use them well. I have seen that. I have seen people getting impressed and praising my writings. Now I trust those people for a number of reasons. I would discuss only the main ones. First and foremost, I know that most of those people are better equipped than me in words as far as inventory of words in concerned. My inventory turnover is quite remarkable and I love coming back to the ‘here and now’. Yes, me too! Secondly, I actually want to believe them. The reason why I want to believe them is the fact that they praise me. If they all criticized me, didn’t have great things to tell about my rather simple presentation of words which happens to be by compulsion than choice; probably I would have written them off saying they were not good enough to judge me. But if the judge passes a judgement which is to one’s liking, who cares to see if the judge was partial or competent enough or an expert of the area. Therefore, this proves that even my first reason for trusting the people who praise me is a corollary of the second one. Foundation is a derivative of the first floor! Funny but true in my case.

Children have this tendency to get carried away in their lives so much that they start believing they have grown up, at least enough to say things to their parents they wouldn’t say otherwise. I mean under normal circumstances. They do get the reminder of the fact every now and then and especially when they tend to begin to develop this feeling of being grown up that god is next to their parents. Way back I was reading some note written by some friend. I don’t quite remember the exact words but they were similar to this.

“When I reached home, I saw maa was a bit older than before and paa had more of grey in his head than black.”

This sentence touched me in a way I just could not forget. This time I had a similar experience and I was scared. I got to know my father; my young stud father was ageing, ever so slowly, just slowly enough to deceive me for this long but no more. I just accidentally happened to take a step back and see how much has he been carrying on his broad and ever reliable shoulders. I saw my maa with that thin line of wrinkle under her ears on the side of the cheek on the right. I didn’t quite see the left side. I dared not. I don’t want to see her with wrinkles. She still looks very beautiful and fulfilling to vision; I must say. But I was shaken in a way and I thank god for I was. I have my share of grey on the head but the shoulders have been pretty empty so far! Time to take charge and grow up the way I should.

There are two parts of the piece I wrote just now. Both of them are quite unrelated to each other. If you as a reader disagree, I have achieved what I wanted as far as expressing my thoughts is concerned. If you agree, I recommend, have a cause-effect analysis. See if it helps!

Why I hate B school interviews!

Last evening somene told me, its summer time. It felt weird then I realized I was talking to a b school guy. Things got revisited in a flash!
Panel for job interviews are weird. They ask cliched questions and expect out of the blue answers. HR managers suck. Other line managers suck more.
Corporate jungle stinks. But this is where I live. B school interviews are far more terrible than engineering college interviews. This is why, I say so:
1. First of all, I don't understand why everybody gets a facial? I have always thought about it but never could fathom the reason. Girls doing it is alright. They anyway do it. Alright, they even change their hair do. But that's also not very rare for them. Okay, agreed they wear 'good' clothes to. But why on earth does the ugliest lad of the batch with maximum facial and other kind of hair goes for the facial. That is not going to add to your non existent sex appeal. Pretty guys are pukish to look at. I mean there is Ranbir Kapoor, I know but he is barely a guy. Girls rule!! End of the story.
2. Why do poeple cry? It's very amusing in a bad way to see people cry. Include the 'Machos' of the batch too. Damsels truly enjoy it. The crying part I mean. I have enjoyed it. The watching part, I mean. Have seen my seniors, my batchmates and almost myself do that. That is funny. That too when people know they are anyway going to land a job. I truly like the after GD conversations. They are humourous again in a dark way. Suddenly, everyone's bad. Cruel world!!
3. Why do people tell the saddest stories in response to 'tell me something about yourself'? I haven't heard but I am sure they do. Ha ha, each and every one of us have a sad story which either comes out post drinking or during interviews. Sad is bad but sells well apparently. At least, we think so.
4. I don't like people changing body languages. The minute before the damsel in distress was surrounded by three placecommers, five PPO holders and several onlookers from the junior batch, all trying to give her their bit of mind and the moment that offer comes, Ms. Vulnerable of all a sudden becomes Ms. I'm so confident. Another PPO holder and a distant onlooker gruntles in disgust from a distance and carries on with the smoke.
5. And I truly don't know why people don't give great interviews in the first place. VKG is god. Give great interviews, get selected. At least respect yourselves. Offers would follow!
I thank my Placecomm for all the assist in all the baskets I scored on field. Offense, none meant to anyone!

A Talk

Two friends meet up after a long time. They were at the same school. Now they meet after three long months, many boring hours in office and endless minutes on Whatsapp.

X: Dude
Y: Dude
X: Been long man
Y: Really long
X: So long
Y: Huh
X: What?
Y: Hmmm...nothing
X: It's boring man
Y: No girls
X: Even to talk about!
Y: Even to think about!
X: We have grown old.
Y: Only in the head
X: And how do you explain the tummy?
Y: Beer, Beer and Beer. By the way, how do you explain the baldness?
X: Its sperms!
Y: What sperms? How?
X: Guys with more testosterone go bald early.
Y: Who says?
X: Wiki does!
Y: What does Wiki Say?
X: Guys with higher testosterone have higher sperm count.
Y: So...
X: So, they go bald....prematurely
Y: That ways, Anil Kapoor would be a eunchhhh/eunuch.
X: Whatever
Y: Where did you learn that?
X: Learn what?
Y: The word 'Whatever'!
X: Movies
Y: You watch movies? English! Do you know even five Holy Wood stars?
X: It's Hollywood
Y: Yeah
X:
Y: Let's plan something
X: Like what?
Y: Like a trip
X: To?
Y: Goa, Europe
X: How many would join?
Y: I am joining for sure
X: LL
Y:
X: I am confused
Y: About what?
X: Everything, the job, the girl
Y: You got a great job, cash in hand is great
X: No learning, no work and my ex just doesn't stop calling me
Y: The same girl who abused you for the last two years
X:
Y: I think you two would make a great couple
X: But our families..
Y: What families?
X: Her dad is a weirdo, show off social charmer
Y: So are you
X: Anyway, it's just not possible
Y: Then stop talking about her
X: But this girl, I am trying to see...
Y: Hmmm...
X: She is weird too
Y: So are you
X: What plans for the evening?
Y: Nothing
X: Bhak Sala
Y: What?
X: Let's rock
Y: Where?
X: Route 69, Kingdom of Dreams
Y: I don't earn that well, yet
X: Let's keep it simple, get the stuff here and rock
Y: Yes
X: A bottle?
Y: Should be enough
X: What if it comes short?
Y: Then we will close it
X: Let's have some reserve
Y: Let's do it corporate style
X: I will use my card
Y: For
X: To get the bottle
Y: They use cards there?
X: Yes, they do!
Y: Food?
X: Let's order
Y: Let me pick the food
X: Let's call others
Y: Wait, we are not high enough
X: Why we never had girls in our group
Y: Because you were in our group
X: Girls like me
Y: Yes, only your status updates
X: They say my voice is sexy
Y: Only on phone
X: They say I am GLHB in you know what?
Y: Yeah, and where are they from?
X: Listen, I am a legend back there!
Y: Vikram Rathore is a legend in Ranji Trophy too
X: But I think I should quit smoking
Y: Why? Cigarettes are cool
X: I can't even climb up the stairs now
Y: So basically you huff and puff too much when you
X: You got it
Y: What!
X: I have put in some ice
Y: Then get the ice out in a bowl
X: I don't know why but the ice hasn't set
Y: That's because your fridge settings are for winters
X: Damn!
Y:
X: My fridge has a strange smell
Y: Like what?
X: Like a freshly cleaned Urinal
Y: That's some smell, I bet
X: I miss **
Y: I don't. I am happy here!
X: But what times
Y: True, I just lied
X: It got over too fast
Y: I don't think it's over yet
X: I think the food has arrived
Y: Grab my wallet
X: Let me pour the drinks
Y: Where are the discount coupons?
X: In the drawer
Y: It's a mess in here
X:


Ten Minutes later:
X: Cheers
Y: Cheers
X: Smooth
Y: I told ya, Soda is better than Coke!


Two hours later:
X: Huh
Y: Fuck
X:
Y:

Bright red lights peeping through the balcony door. Peace, only literally! Night up, fun up!

The Road less traveled

Sometimes, I feel guilty to be living where I do. The place is not pretty and dust free. Even I am not allergic to dust but it matters. Doesn't it? New things have crept in ever so seamlessly in our system that we are always looking outwards. Too much extraversion, if I may say so. Never thought this one dimension of leadership parameter would change people so much around me. So much so that introversion is considered to be sinful. As a blot rather! We have started to hate homes. Especially, if we have to enjoy. Home-made food is such a rarity that people get notified on FB for the same. Comes tagged with a :) ' Had ghar ka khana..thanks  XYZ, ABC, DEF and... XYZ for the amazing nostalgic weekend'. Huh! What a stage to be in. 

Feelings and expressions have too much visibility. Hey, what is on my mind? Let me think of something nice and tweet about it. Checklists are checked and okay-ed online. It just stills in a sense of sickness all over. I don't know the reason for it but I have to agree Mark Zuckerberg is more of a social scientist than a developer. Talking of everything which is without a consequence and keeping mum about all that is important is the in thing. These 'in things', I tell you can be real dangerous. They sort of kill people in the way they shouldn't let themselves die. All of us are getting away from the real we. We are wanna be Barneys, Joes, and other characters we see on TV. The fictitious has taken over the real. 

I have I don't know so many pals here. I don't say hello to most of them. I don't even remember their faces. They are on my list. My networking has to be good. Thats what they told me. I believed them too. I have been longing for a place where people are identified with the colour and gates their houses have and not their numbers. The blue house with the grey gate right beside the biggest grocery shop in town belongs to Amit. Something like that. A place where no kid gets lost in the crowd. There is always someone to identify his mother and to bring him back to her. 

The fight about progression to look ahead and outwards; to not let oneself be restricted. It’s a flat world after all. I don't know really! I fear I have come a little too far for my comfort. Hasn't everyone done so? "God I will miss u ..... Bangalore". Not many years ago, we missed people, we loved them, though we never told them, they knew and we knew that they would know. We had the eyes worth a thousand words. When we spoke, words meant the world. The art and facility of expression has diluted our most powerful weapon. Haven't we abused it enough? 

I am no revolutionary. Neither am I a missionary. Nor am I different. I am one of us. But there are times when I think I came too far. The road meant to travel less has been overused and the one meant to be romped has been untraveled. All I seek right now is the road less traveled!

मुझे सन्नाटा दो

कभी कभी ही तो मन करता है

कि कहीं तो अकेलापन हो

इतनी भीड़ में 

थोडा सा तो खालीपन हो

जब कभी जी में आये

तो पेड़ो के नीचे नीचे

उनकी छाँव में 

धूल को जूते से उड़ाता

थोडा तो टहल लूँ

और जो मन करे 

तो हवा से तेज़ 

उड़ जाऊं बिना रुके

या 

ऐसी किसी जगह पे चला जाऊं

जहाँ मेरी पहचान न हो

न कोई वजूद हो

कोई निशान न हो

कबीर के 'निराकार'

का स्वाद भी तभी समझ में आता है

जब मंदिर कि घंटियों से

दिमाग सुन्न हो जाता है

चारो तरफ ये शोर...

क्यूँ नहीं थोड़ा सन्नाटा है

ज़िन्दगी में कभी कभी ही तो

वक़्त ठहर के जाता है

ये रोज़मर्रा कि बात तो है नहीं

हाँ पर 

पर कभी कभी तो मन करता है...

मुझे सन्नाटा दो

कभी कभी ही तो मन करता है

कि कहीं तो अकेलापन हो

इतनी भीड़ में 

थोडा सा तो खालीपन हो

जब कभी जी में आये

तो पेड़ो के नीचे नीचे

उनकी छाँव में 

धूल को जूते से उड़ाता

थोडा तो टहल लूँ

और जो मन करे 

तो हवा से तेज़ 

उड़ जाऊं बिना रुके

या 

ऐसी किसी जगह पे चला जाऊं

जहाँ मेरी पहचान न हो

न कोई वजूद हो

कोई निशान न हो

कबीर के 'निराकार'

का स्वाद भी तभी समझ में आता है

जब मंदिर कि घंटियों से

दिमाग सुन्न हो जाता है

चारो तरफ ये शोर...

क्यूँ नहीं थोड़ा सन्नाटा है

ज़िन्दगी में कभी कभी ही तो

वक़्त ठहर के जाता है

ये रोज़मर्रा कि बात तो है नहीं

हाँ पर 

पर कभी कभी तो मन करता है...

Transition & Buddhe

कल रात सोने के पहले

एक दोस्त की कहानी पढ़ ली

लोग बच्चे से बड़े हो ही जाते हैं

कभी न कभी अपने पैरों पे खड़े हो ही जाते हैं

तब कभी

 हम जैसे बूढों को भी "lack of transition " बड़ा खटकता है

क्या हम उम्र के पहले बूढ़े हो गए

यही बार बार दिमाग में अटकता है

अब दिमाग की बात यूँ चली तो बचपन की याद लाजिमी है

हर लम्हा ही तेज़ी से निकल जाता था

न कोई ठहराव था

मैं तो पानी की तरह फिसल जाता था

एक घडी यहाँ और दूसरी वह

हवा सा बहता था

कभी नानी की गोद 

और कभी माँ के आँचल में छिपता निकलता था

ना मुस्कुराने वाले लोग बड़े डरावने से लगते थे 

अब खुद से ही डर लगता है

पर जब कभी किसी बच्चे को बड़ा होते देखता हूँ

तो वही "Transition " याद आता है

फिर से वो बेहतरीन पल पीता हूँ

किसी और की कहानी में अपना जीवन जीता हूँ

धीरे से छुप के मुस्कुरा लेता हूँ

और अगला बच्चा जल्द बड़ा होगा

इसके इंतज़ार में अपनी सफेदी को काले से छुपा लेता हूँ

 

Ye sali Zindagi

हर शाम अब एक जैसी ही दिखती है

भूख नहीं बस प्यास लगती है

शहर के शोर में जैसे खोने का एहसास होता है

बेचते बिकते

 इंसान को इंसान न होने का आभास होता है

कहने को सीखने का दंभ भर सा लेता हूँ

हर रात सोने के पहले 

दिन भर कुछ कर सा लेता हूँ

कभी खाता और कभी बस पी लेता हूँ

कुछ ग़म कुछ खुशियाँ जी लेता हूँ

सपने जैसे कुछ कौड़ियों के तले सांस ले लेते हैं

जिन्हें गिन के हम कभी कभी जी लेते हैं

पर धड़कन कहती है

धीरे से फुसफुसाती है rather

अपने सपनो को मरने न देना

खुद सडना पर उन्हें 

सड़ने न देना

इन्ही धडकनों के साथ 

मैं भी फुसफुसाता हूँ

मूक दर्शक हूँ पर 

कभी कभी बोल जाता हूँ

इसके पहले कि 

कुचली अभिलाषाएं जाग जाएँ

मेरी अंतरात्मा को जन्झोर के जगाये

अब सो जाता हूँ 

अब तो बस रातों को कपडे पहनता हूँ

कल सुबह फिर से निर्वस्त्र हो जाऊंगा 

कि कल फिर से मण्डी ने बुलाया है

एक बकरे की दास्ताँ

एक बकरे की कहानी सुनाता हूँ,

कैसे वो इस व्यूह में फंसा 

वो बताता हूँ..

जीवन ने उसे कई मौके दिए

पर वो सारे 

उस बेवक़ूफ़ बकरे ने 

एक एक कर के खो दिए!

जो milestones कसाई ने सेट किये थे

उनके पीछे  भागते भागते 

उसने अपने सपने पसीने में धो दिए ..

अब जाके दुनिया खुश हुयी

पर बकरे का मन उदास है

पर उस के पास भी आजकल

एक नया टाइम पास है ....

-कभी खैर मनाती

पर आजकल खुश-

उसकी माँ में उल्लास है ..

यह छुप छुप के देखता, मोदित होता है

पर,

निराशा और सफलता के बीच

उसमे बची अभी भी कुछ प्यास है

इसीलिए आजकल बकरा टीवी पे 

लिम्का का Ad देखता है

हौले से मुस्कुराता है

और अगली बार कटने से पहले 

 अपनी प्यास थोड़ी और बढाता है!

More of teams, and IPL and them!

The present IPL table looks very confusing. Rajasthan Royals, who probably have one of the best teams on the basis of current form are not in the top 4. MI who look confused with their non cohesive unit of shiny stars are number three. Chennai despite being number five look a shadow of the team they used to be. May be these teams have thought a few things in not exactly the right way or so the trends of IPL 5 show!

I won't use my batsmen, come what may!

What baffles me the most in this IPL is the under utilization of batting fire power from the big teams. CSK should ask themselves a question, is Badrinath suited to bat ahead of Albie Morkel? Or why do they need to play Mr. Cricket in all the matches as if its an obligation. It's a T20 game. MI is no exception to this trend. Every batsman that plays for MI seems to be playing only for himself. If everyone will be a sheet anchor, who will attack? May be Harbhajan Singh! And if they have to play Robin Peterson, they have to use him as a bowler. I am sure he shall do better than the skipper himself. Even Raina is bowling better than Bhajji these days. Thankfully, KXIP got their screws tightened in time. Now they play Hussey at 4. And what a blessing in disguise has Gilly's injury been. Or has he been faking it. Anyway, this was his last season as a player ;) KKR, why do you send Kallis ahead of Pathan. Either ways, Pathan gets caught at the boundary. Try him in the powerplays for once! Give him the license to kill when escaping is easy not when you have the city barricaded. PWI just won't play Smith ahead of Ganguly and Clarke, who is undoubtedly their best batsman this season. Whoever is coaching PWI should ask Uthappa to stop acting like Ranbir Kapoor and play some shots in front of the wicket. If i had shoulders so strong and a chest so wide, I bet I would have hit bowlers back over their heads. I mean this whole thing is so contagious, even RCB sent Gayle to bat at number 4. What happened to Resource Based Strategy??? Conclusion, If you got assassins, let them kill. Thank god, we have DD who exhaust all their batsmen :D

Left Armers with no turn are the ones!

There used to be a time when left arm orthodox spinners in cricket were like non engineers in a B school. IPL has changed things. There is Appanna (Yes, that is a name!), A, B, C, Murali Karthik, D, E, F, Nadeem (he is a country cousin :D ), ...., X, Y, Z. I wish there were more letters in alphabet! And somehow, most of the batsmen have been trying to play them inside out all the time where there has been non existent turn (Ravindra Jadeja!), loop, bounce and an almost deep extra cover fielder who looks like an irritant step brother of the good old position of "Long-off". So the cover drives which were meant to go for fours are yielding singles, bowled(S), inside edges to midwicket which is again void of fielders due to some inexplicable reasons. Where have the slog sweeps gone? Steve Waugh and Hansie Cronje, I wish you played this battery of overrated slow bowlers who use the other hand to bowl!

What happened to Fast bowlers?

There was "Dale Steyn", then there was sunlight and the rest followed! It gives me goose bumps, when I see a 6 feet plus Pollard in his run up, approaching the crease like the calmness of Holding and then bowling a delivery at a speed which Afridi can touch without even twisting his shoulder. Or for that matter, Amit Singh from RR, who runs like a 35 yards and bowls at a speed which is slower than the speed of his own run up. And what kind of bowlers are "Rajat Bhatia", "Siddharth Trivedi" and there are others. Last heard, Trivedi is a slow bowl master. These slower balls have spoiled the pacers. The purpose of a slow ball is to mark a change of pace. So, someone who bowls at 125 kph is already slow. Thanks to our curators, even these bowlers are making an earning. Everyone has the right to bread! And by the way, I like Dinda for at least trying to be a fast bowler, even if an ordinary one. There are so less of them these days, we need someone who at least lives with this belief that he can be the one!

My personal advice to MSD: Please come back to Ranchi. We miss you. And you will get a life. It's ok not to play an IPL. You can do that MS, if you can miss a test series, so can you miss an IPL. You do look tired and more than just 30!

Its match time, almost. Only 5 minutes of "Extra Innings" today. See, life finds a way!

Cricket, IPL and other things that irritate me

I love to hit below the belt, sometimes even worse. My friends know it well. Well, I grew up with cricket (read Sachin Tendulkar M.P.), bollywood (read Srk) and Raj Comics (for the Harry f*****g Potter fans, Raj Comics gets published from Burari, New Delhi and is a mega source of entertainment for average indian kids growing up with things similar to the ones I grew up with). So, now its clear what I didn't grow up with. Just to make it a little more clear, I didn't grow up with Tom Cruise, Clint Eastwood, Mr. Archer, Mr. Potter, Mr. Foot-suck-ball. I am sorry! As I said, I love hitting there, where it hurts the most. Moving on, today, I simply feel like talking a bit of cricket as it has given a nation like us its rare moments of modern sporting glory. 

What eventually attacted me towards cricket is the very way how the game is played in this part of the country. We don't play cricket as a team game. And to be honest I don't feel it is a team game in true senses. I mean, I have always loved  brilliant individual performances. Who wouldn't like to see a fired up Wasim Akram cleaning up sides with a ball that swung like a BANANA ;) or for that matter a Kirti Azad single handedly winning a match with his bat, or a sedate Kumble taking all 10 wickets? See, even in a successful movie, there are important side actors who complete it. Similar in cricket. You need to have an individual who leads the show and there would be "Soorma Bhopalis" to make another "Sholay"..

In the backdrop of all this, I couldn't help writing about IPL 5 which happens to be my staple time pass like all those previous years. And despite around 30 matches getting to the last over, there have been things which make this IPL irritating though not boring. 

I love to finger the native DADA fans. I am sorry guys but most of you have been pretty unsporting all through the IPL except a few. Agreed he is a legend, arguably the greatest (and definitely the most and first male [read mard])captain of India but like Dhooper puts in his signature, every dog has its day(s) and trust me folks his days are over. Dada himself knows this. If he didn't he would still be playing for team India. He should rather take a mentor role like Chacha Kumble or shrewd Fleming. But I don't mean to say by any means that Dada is one of the reasons why this IPL has been irritating. It's just his FANS.

Of the other things which are an equally big turn off, is the show which comes before and after the matches. Yes Extra Innings it seems has extra dots for extra pleasure. Pleasure for them, pain for me. After all, I can only speak for myself. Gaurav Kapur, dude I like you. I love the way you are fit despite the diabetes you have. But I hate the way, you host the show. And Sameer Kochar, you look good playing second fiddle to Emran Hashmi, where he gets all the kisses and you get the kicks! And the two girls (One of them I hear is sister of some MTV VJ), why don't you join some aerobic classes and help the cheerleaders. We need indian beauties there. At least, I won't have to bear dialogues like these every day:

1. It's all happening here in the Wankhede.

2. The atmosphere looks electric. (Really Bitch!)

3. I have with me the very pretty Preity Zinta.

4. This is your nth loss on a trot. So how is the mood in the camp? (Isn't it obvious, we are scewed)

5. Isn't it thrilling to see Luke Wright hitting those sixes of Tennis balls? (No it's not!)

6. How does it feel to be sharing the same dressing with Sachin/Ganguly/Viru/Dhoni/Some other son of a bitch, who cares?

So, please spare me Extra Innings' horror and give me Harsha Bhogle in that chair. Of course, you can use the clowns as you may wish at other places!

As I write this, I see Sachin once again proving that Dinda is an ordinary bowler. Reminds me of Pranay Jha's status update on Dinda. That brings a wry smile on my face. By the way, Pranay was my senior at XL from the BM batch. 

Back to live action, as MI are on their way now, I better get to the TV. Yes, Nehra is bowling. Shall write more during "Extra Innings" ;)

I am bored

जब ज़िन्दगी इतनी बड़ी है,

तो उसकी बूँदें दो ही क्यूँ हैं?

जब बोलने को इतना कुछ है,

फिर बातें दो ही क्यूँ हैं?

चलने को पूरा रास्ता पड़ा है,

पर कदम दो ही क्यूँ हैं?

देखने को पूरा संसार है,

मगर आँखें दो ही क्यूँ हैं?

क्योंकि 

ALL GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGE