Ye sali Zindagi

हर शाम अब एक जैसी ही दिखती है

भूख नहीं बस प्यास लगती है

शहर के शोर में जैसे खोने का एहसास होता है

बेचते बिकते

 इंसान को इंसान न होने का आभास होता है

कहने को सीखने का दंभ भर सा लेता हूँ

हर रात सोने के पहले 

दिन भर कुछ कर सा लेता हूँ

कभी खाता और कभी बस पी लेता हूँ

कुछ ग़म कुछ खुशियाँ जी लेता हूँ

सपने जैसे कुछ कौड़ियों के तले सांस ले लेते हैं

जिन्हें गिन के हम कभी कभी जी लेते हैं

पर धड़कन कहती है

धीरे से फुसफुसाती है rather

अपने सपनो को मरने न देना

खुद सडना पर उन्हें 

सड़ने न देना

इन्ही धडकनों के साथ 

मैं भी फुसफुसाता हूँ

मूक दर्शक हूँ पर 

कभी कभी बोल जाता हूँ

इसके पहले कि 

कुचली अभिलाषाएं जाग जाएँ

मेरी अंतरात्मा को जन्झोर के जगाये

अब सो जाता हूँ 

अब तो बस रातों को कपडे पहनता हूँ

कल सुबह फिर से निर्वस्त्र हो जाऊंगा 

कि कल फिर से मण्डी ने बुलाया है

एक बकरे की दास्ताँ

एक बकरे की कहानी सुनाता हूँ,

कैसे वो इस व्यूह में फंसा 

वो बताता हूँ..

जीवन ने उसे कई मौके दिए

पर वो सारे 

उस बेवक़ूफ़ बकरे ने 

एक एक कर के खो दिए!

जो milestones कसाई ने सेट किये थे

उनके पीछे  भागते भागते 

उसने अपने सपने पसीने में धो दिए ..

अब जाके दुनिया खुश हुयी

पर बकरे का मन उदास है

पर उस के पास भी आजकल

एक नया टाइम पास है ....

-कभी खैर मनाती

पर आजकल खुश-

उसकी माँ में उल्लास है ..

यह छुप छुप के देखता, मोदित होता है

पर,

निराशा और सफलता के बीच

उसमे बची अभी भी कुछ प्यास है

इसीलिए आजकल बकरा टीवी पे 

लिम्का का Ad देखता है

हौले से मुस्कुराता है

और अगली बार कटने से पहले 

 अपनी प्यास थोड़ी और बढाता है!

More of teams, and IPL and them!

The present IPL table looks very confusing. Rajasthan Royals, who probably have one of the best teams on the basis of current form are not in the top 4. MI who look confused with their non cohesive unit of shiny stars are number three. Chennai despite being number five look a shadow of the team they used to be. May be these teams have thought a few things in not exactly the right way or so the trends of IPL 5 show!

I won't use my batsmen, come what may!

What baffles me the most in this IPL is the under utilization of batting fire power from the big teams. CSK should ask themselves a question, is Badrinath suited to bat ahead of Albie Morkel? Or why do they need to play Mr. Cricket in all the matches as if its an obligation. It's a T20 game. MI is no exception to this trend. Every batsman that plays for MI seems to be playing only for himself. If everyone will be a sheet anchor, who will attack? May be Harbhajan Singh! And if they have to play Robin Peterson, they have to use him as a bowler. I am sure he shall do better than the skipper himself. Even Raina is bowling better than Bhajji these days. Thankfully, KXIP got their screws tightened in time. Now they play Hussey at 4. And what a blessing in disguise has Gilly's injury been. Or has he been faking it. Anyway, this was his last season as a player ;) KKR, why do you send Kallis ahead of Pathan. Either ways, Pathan gets caught at the boundary. Try him in the powerplays for once! Give him the license to kill when escaping is easy not when you have the city barricaded. PWI just won't play Smith ahead of Ganguly and Clarke, who is undoubtedly their best batsman this season. Whoever is coaching PWI should ask Uthappa to stop acting like Ranbir Kapoor and play some shots in front of the wicket. If i had shoulders so strong and a chest so wide, I bet I would have hit bowlers back over their heads. I mean this whole thing is so contagious, even RCB sent Gayle to bat at number 4. What happened to Resource Based Strategy??? Conclusion, If you got assassins, let them kill. Thank god, we have DD who exhaust all their batsmen :D

Left Armers with no turn are the ones!

There used to be a time when left arm orthodox spinners in cricket were like non engineers in a B school. IPL has changed things. There is Appanna (Yes, that is a name!), A, B, C, Murali Karthik, D, E, F, Nadeem (he is a country cousin :D ), ...., X, Y, Z. I wish there were more letters in alphabet! And somehow, most of the batsmen have been trying to play them inside out all the time where there has been non existent turn (Ravindra Jadeja!), loop, bounce and an almost deep extra cover fielder who looks like an irritant step brother of the good old position of "Long-off". So the cover drives which were meant to go for fours are yielding singles, bowled(S), inside edges to midwicket which is again void of fielders due to some inexplicable reasons. Where have the slog sweeps gone? Steve Waugh and Hansie Cronje, I wish you played this battery of overrated slow bowlers who use the other hand to bowl!

What happened to Fast bowlers?

There was "Dale Steyn", then there was sunlight and the rest followed! It gives me goose bumps, when I see a 6 feet plus Pollard in his run up, approaching the crease like the calmness of Holding and then bowling a delivery at a speed which Afridi can touch without even twisting his shoulder. Or for that matter, Amit Singh from RR, who runs like a 35 yards and bowls at a speed which is slower than the speed of his own run up. And what kind of bowlers are "Rajat Bhatia", "Siddharth Trivedi" and there are others. Last heard, Trivedi is a slow bowl master. These slower balls have spoiled the pacers. The purpose of a slow ball is to mark a change of pace. So, someone who bowls at 125 kph is already slow. Thanks to our curators, even these bowlers are making an earning. Everyone has the right to bread! And by the way, I like Dinda for at least trying to be a fast bowler, even if an ordinary one. There are so less of them these days, we need someone who at least lives with this belief that he can be the one!

My personal advice to MSD: Please come back to Ranchi. We miss you. And you will get a life. It's ok not to play an IPL. You can do that MS, if you can miss a test series, so can you miss an IPL. You do look tired and more than just 30!

Its match time, almost. Only 5 minutes of "Extra Innings" today. See, life finds a way!

Cricket, IPL and other things that irritate me

I love to hit below the belt, sometimes even worse. My friends know it well. Well, I grew up with cricket (read Sachin Tendulkar M.P.), bollywood (read Srk) and Raj Comics (for the Harry f*****g Potter fans, Raj Comics gets published from Burari, New Delhi and is a mega source of entertainment for average indian kids growing up with things similar to the ones I grew up with). So, now its clear what I didn't grow up with. Just to make it a little more clear, I didn't grow up with Tom Cruise, Clint Eastwood, Mr. Archer, Mr. Potter, Mr. Foot-suck-ball. I am sorry! As I said, I love hitting there, where it hurts the most. Moving on, today, I simply feel like talking a bit of cricket as it has given a nation like us its rare moments of modern sporting glory. 

What eventually attacted me towards cricket is the very way how the game is played in this part of the country. We don't play cricket as a team game. And to be honest I don't feel it is a team game in true senses. I mean, I have always loved  brilliant individual performances. Who wouldn't like to see a fired up Wasim Akram cleaning up sides with a ball that swung like a BANANA ;) or for that matter a Kirti Azad single handedly winning a match with his bat, or a sedate Kumble taking all 10 wickets? See, even in a successful movie, there are important side actors who complete it. Similar in cricket. You need to have an individual who leads the show and there would be "Soorma Bhopalis" to make another "Sholay"..

In the backdrop of all this, I couldn't help writing about IPL 5 which happens to be my staple time pass like all those previous years. And despite around 30 matches getting to the last over, there have been things which make this IPL irritating though not boring. 

I love to finger the native DADA fans. I am sorry guys but most of you have been pretty unsporting all through the IPL except a few. Agreed he is a legend, arguably the greatest (and definitely the most and first male [read mard])captain of India but like Dhooper puts in his signature, every dog has its day(s) and trust me folks his days are over. Dada himself knows this. If he didn't he would still be playing for team India. He should rather take a mentor role like Chacha Kumble or shrewd Fleming. But I don't mean to say by any means that Dada is one of the reasons why this IPL has been irritating. It's just his FANS.

Of the other things which are an equally big turn off, is the show which comes before and after the matches. Yes Extra Innings it seems has extra dots for extra pleasure. Pleasure for them, pain for me. After all, I can only speak for myself. Gaurav Kapur, dude I like you. I love the way you are fit despite the diabetes you have. But I hate the way, you host the show. And Sameer Kochar, you look good playing second fiddle to Emran Hashmi, where he gets all the kisses and you get the kicks! And the two girls (One of them I hear is sister of some MTV VJ), why don't you join some aerobic classes and help the cheerleaders. We need indian beauties there. At least, I won't have to bear dialogues like these every day:

1. It's all happening here in the Wankhede.

2. The atmosphere looks electric. (Really Bitch!)

3. I have with me the very pretty Preity Zinta.

4. This is your nth loss on a trot. So how is the mood in the camp? (Isn't it obvious, we are scewed)

5. Isn't it thrilling to see Luke Wright hitting those sixes of Tennis balls? (No it's not!)

6. How does it feel to be sharing the same dressing with Sachin/Ganguly/Viru/Dhoni/Some other son of a bitch, who cares?

So, please spare me Extra Innings' horror and give me Harsha Bhogle in that chair. Of course, you can use the clowns as you may wish at other places!

As I write this, I see Sachin once again proving that Dinda is an ordinary bowler. Reminds me of Pranay Jha's status update on Dinda. That brings a wry smile on my face. By the way, Pranay was my senior at XL from the BM batch. 

Back to live action, as MI are on their way now, I better get to the TV. Yes, Nehra is bowling. Shall write more during "Extra Innings" ;)

I am bored

जब ज़िन्दगी इतनी बड़ी है,

तो उसकी बूँदें दो ही क्यूँ हैं?

जब बोलने को इतना कुछ है,

फिर बातें दो ही क्यूँ हैं?

चलने को पूरा रास्ता पड़ा है,

पर कदम दो ही क्यूँ हैं?

देखने को पूरा संसार है,

मगर आँखें दो ही क्यूँ हैं?

क्योंकि 

ALL GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGE

Udaan

मन का भंवर

आँखों की आरजू

दिल की तमन्ना

उड़ चलें कहीं उस अब्र के पीछे

और देखें बारिश बनते हुए

और भीग के उसी बारिश में 

गिर जायें हौले से ज़मीन पर

मिटटी की सौंधी खुशबू का कारण बन जाएँ

पीपल के पत्ते से लटकती वो बूँद बन के ही जी लें कम से कम

या फिर गर बुलंदियों में ही रहने का जी कर जाये

तो कोहरे की शकल में आ जायें कभी तुम्हे देखने

तुम्हारी बालकोनी के कोने से सर्द हवा बन के घुस जायें किसी तकिये में

और सूरज के निकलते ही बस फना हो जायें धीरे से

मन का भंवर

आँखों की आरज़ू

दिल की तमन्ना

फिर कभी मुस्कुराये तो ये हसरतें भी पूरी कर ले हम

और जब उम्र छा जाये काले बादलो की तरह

बस सुबह की नर्म घास पे

ओस बन के वही तोड़ दे दम

I want to walk

Cycles in life have changed so much that I feel more nocturnal. I dared not see a movie at 3 in the night. But now I do and with ease! Those dark and deep circles have as it is spoiled my not so good face. Tough times. I get bored very often now. Nothing grabs my attention anymore. Seems I have secured a very very small attention span for myself. As I was talking to this guy the other day, he told me about reducing attention spans over the last decade or so. Technology has helped too. First though emails, then Orkut, Facebook, cell phones, android, and I don't know what else. I feel challenged on this front in this age. I am not smart with smart phones either. I am a big Steve Jobs fan but I still don't know how does an I- anything changes lives. End of the day, its just another gadget. Where is the calm? I feel bad when I don't get excited about festivals anymore. When I was a 6th grader and in hostel during Pujas, I remember sobbing in the quietness of my quilt. And I thought back then, that I shall always be home in Pujas when I grow up and get out of this hostel where I don't take my decisions. Well, I did grow up. I also got out of hostel except I entered a new ones every time I got out. And this time, after I leave hostel, I am going to prison. All of us are going to prison. Some realize, some don't! Poor humans, its not their fault as well! Its how we have conditioned ourselves over the years.

Fun is something these days when the mind is stupid enough to blurt things that we usually find crude. There is no expression! What stays is fear of expression. We don't like people but we stay friends. We like someone but yet compare jobs, sometimes girl friends also. Pretty innovative parameters to gauge quality of life. Iteration of facts is equivalent to analysis. Sometimes its just the active to passive and passive to active journey. At times, its quality rephrasing. I don't say it doesn't need skill to do it. It does. Sad part is that at every given opportunity even I succumb to the same trap I keep abusing all the time. As the curtains are about to be drawn, we would face a few questions. Not from outside, but from us. And trust me, we won't have good enough answers. A mirror never lies.

I feel emotionally drained. They got the better of me. I don't remember crying now. I don't feel the charge of feelings anymore. I have learnt to be cool and calm under all circumstances. I miss the festivity in my life. I miss the disappointment of losing a five rupee note. I miss the smile when appreciated. I miss the little walks I took in my colony. And I miss the trigger for celebration. I need to have that anticipation which gives us the thrust. I need the panic before the examination. In short, I need to be normal again. I want to taste all feelings not once but forever. I want to walk by without caring. Amen!