The black of the mind

Its been a long long time now. I sit quietly, ever so silently, pondering, brooding, basically trying to think about what should I think. Loops are formed and bent and I end up where I began. Well, even if the loops are left as they are, like the perfect shapes of the smart arts of Microsoft, still one would end up where one began from. The bending effect just gives me an illusion of traversing the false journey of newness. There is nothing new about how we live, especially how I live. I always live to be happy. The parameters I set for myself are very self righteous but so unfulfilling. That very simply captures the beauty and burden of the imperfect thing, we all know by the name of life! So, now my engine has heated up, the choke button has been pressed hard, my fingers moving swiftly on the keyboard-an indicator of the fact that he process of churning out the thoughts has begun. That makes me happy. I wait for a second, grab the mirror, have a look at my unshaven and rowdy face and churn out a 'cute' smile. Looking at oneself from time to time is a fantastic exercise. Not only does it tell the beholder-it's time to shave, but also it indicates how much dump has been filled in the depths of the darkness engulfed within. The tired eyes give way to slumber but the energetic fingers resist. The jeans I am wearing makes me uncomfortable at this wee hour of the day/night (don't know what to call this time of the day?) but the laziness just stops me from changing it. That is the essence of human beings. We are all so predictive in an unpredictive way that even though we know what's about to happen, we are not quite sure of how this end will be reached. I feel the burns beneath the eyelids, they flutter at  a greater speed now, probably an indication of where I am going. The fingers also begin to tire. The human body has its limitations but the dirty mind keeps flowing. It flows like a serene river, glistening in the darkness of the night. A very similar scary feeling when you cross a bridge riding a train in the night and manage to see the vast and the fright of the waves in fear. That's how the mind flows. It scares us. Tame the mind, else it tames the body. Like now, my body wants to rest, but the mind just is overriding it. I accept defeat and offer myself as a POW. At least, a jailed body would get some sleep!