Disappointment is a bad feeling. Sometimes, it arises out of failure. But sometimes the causes may be different. Apathy may be one of them. I mean apathy directed at oneself. But apathy is a very strong word. I think indifference would fit in too. Indifference on the other hand is merely a subset of apathy in a toned down way. But that also seems enough, just enough for disappointment to creep in slowly. It kills, chokes, suffocates without the physical symptoms. One might just smile! We know where it comes from. It comes from the art of practicing.
The soul and body are a system. This system gets in a state of distorted realism. In fact, the system gets distorted due to the breakaway from the fantasy world. The dreams have to let go of the mind to show it what actualism is. Every one feels that sense of realism at some point in life. And it gets hard to accept. Because nothing is perfect. We can't plan things perfectly always. Or may be we can plan things perfectly. They might refuse to turn out in the exact perfect fashion. That is disappointment.
Probably, the imperfections of life are hard to accept. May be that is human nature. And mind you its complicated. Not the human nature, these imperfections! Human nature on the other hand is fairly straight and simple. It is driven by selfishness barring no exceptions. People behave in the way which suits them the most. Some people behave in the way which suits others the most. And some people are smart enough to take the middle path or some other path or some other than the other path. But they do what they think suits them the best. That makes them live their lives of romantic realism. That sounds very oxymoronic. But we choose to make that choice. And the day we fail to get a response which we have been used to, we simply get killed.
That is the day the sleeping philosopher inside us suddenly awakes and asks us to self introspect. And we do that because that is what suits us the best at that point in time. Selfish again! And selfish is not such a bad word. It is just doing good to one self. So what if it may bring more disappointment(s) to people around us. Realism is a bitter pill to swallow. Dreams are easy. Dreams are static. Dreams are snapshots that we choose to preserve and admire again and again. Realism is true. It can get ugly. It does get ugly. Its dynamic and that is what gives hope.The hope that things would change. Indifference would go, the dream would be reframed in the way we always wanted it to be. Amen.
